a story of a BUT and a STILL

it is not the last day perhaps
but still, it is.

as it is the breakthrough for us
to go for a higher level.
but still, it doesn't seem to be like a farewell.

I have been with them for the past
thousands days.
but still, it is different now in one way or another.

I hope that today gonna be a great one
but still, no one asks to stay back.

probably egoism is over me that I can't let you all off
but still, I can't get rid of that egoism.

then I start to tell myself to accept that bitter fact
but still, it is not as easy as drinking water.

don't blame yourselves because of my complains
but still, you all are great ones in my life.

on the contrary, I blame myself to post this on my blog today.
but still, it is the only way for me to feel a bit relieved.

LOVE YOU ALL :)

a heart-to-heart :D

There's sth wrong with me, I admit. I wanna shout at the top of my lungs. I am not sure what actually makes me to be feeling this way. I am just way very indecisive over every single thing these past few weeks, unfortunately till now. And, I later find that perhaps bcs of the forthcoming test or the upcoming big plan after the semester test or the euphoria of being a going-to-be senior or okay, reasons are stucked here for the moment. I haven't revised anything and I am still in this relaxing condition (blame on the consecutive public holidays! haha), *oh this is not me! hey, anita! that big day will come soon. Don't slack too much, girl. Oh, one friend once told me that I was slacking over here and they were stressed over there. Oh my, may god bless you all girls, for the upcoming O's. So that you all are given the strength to overcome those obstacles during the lessons, tests, and most importantly while studying. Afterall, endurance is needed :D I know you are having hard time there and I am nothing to be compared. But still, I believe that you can do it. You all are strong little girls, remember? I'll pray for you all, my girls. Hope to see you girls soon, oh november please come faster then.

Back to the laptop *oops no, back to the topic AHAHA you know, some Indonesian reality and comedy shows are really recommended. They somehow helped to boost my mood up.

These past few weeks, after the monthly test to be exact, had been hectic anyway. I had to go for a once a week rehearsal (which is on sunday! hey, can you imagine? your sunday afternoon..arghh), piano exam (with one of my songs was like OMG and it needed intensive practice), preparing for the little "untold", doing my flash project (this one really fed me up), doing my bahasa project (to summarise a non-fiction novel), eehhm what more ya, oh yes, I keep on thinking to start studying but lastly it remains as a thought afterall, no action is taken till now. Hey anita, you complain too much. Yes, I really do. Nevertheless, I keep on telling myself to be grateful of what I've now and feel lucky. I remember my last week composition assignment topic was about whether I believe in luck and I was telling about being lucky all the way. I bet my english teacher will absolutely say that it is out of the box. And I will answer "bcs I did it in last minute oh miss" but it must not be spoken out for sure *giggles* I knew that I didn't have to do it in my last minute, but I felt that my ideas would pop out abruptly when I was doing my assignments in a rush. Another one, I was trembling throughout my piano exam, my heart was in my mouth, and that was a little bit ruining the atmosphere and my concentration. Anyway, I was done with it!

I've been so into novels, movies, and songs lately as I felt that I am away with the fairies while having those. It helps. Yet, I have to come back to the reality. My friends, some perhaps, are listening to this Justin Bieber's songs and marking "eenie meenie" as favourite. Then, I start to listen to it as well and yes, it is good! Recent top movies that I had watched were the "Hachiko", a must and I burst into tears when the movie was about to end though I was pretty sure that I wouldn't cry, and just now, I watched this "IP MAN 2", a totally recommended movie of the year, sorry if I was a bit exaggerating, but yes, it was superb!

And, there are many friends of mine who are celebrating their so called sweet 17th parties this year and I am happy for them :D hey, we are adults! though I am still a going-to-be. Here are some pics taken during one of the parties which was held in a new driving range in Medan. It is an area where golfers can practice their swing (as was quoted from wikipedia.com). Sounds cool, right? Yes.


So, I have poured out a lot for today. Gonna hit bed soon! Have nice days ahead guys (:

::BONNE NUIT::