the simple changes = my big troubles

The recent weeks have been tough. Fiuh. Totally powerless. I really can't accept the fact that it would end up this way. Courage is desperately needed to face what's next. I can barely stand on my feet. I can barely think without the tiny pieces thinking abt you misterpiraten. It is out of my thought that you will do this to me. So, this is how it was feeling back then, huh? My mind is superstucked to think a way out of this. Lesson learned : ANYTHING could change at ANYTIME.

'The feelings we have at this time are not strong enough to maintain what we have now.'

ten facts

So, I was tagged by beverly koa about this "10 facts about me" merci bev! :)

the golden rules :

-each tagged person has to jot down 10 facts abt himself/herself

-then choose another 10 ppl and tag them by telling them via chatbox "hey! you got tagged!" sth like that

-no tagging back the person who have tagged you

-wait do you wait for? go post yours now! :D

so, here am I writing abt my '10 facts' :)

1. I love to wear batik pyjamas since jhs1, the ones that my grandma has always bought for me whenever she saw them. She said that she could hardly find any batik pyjamas with good qualities in Medan.

2. I seldom talk to mommy until the recent few years. We talked important stuffs only back then.

3. Just can't yell at sb elses though how mad I am, bro and lil sis are exceptions.

4. Yellow isn't really my fav colour, I just couldn't find any specific colours that I really love when I was asked by my art and craft teacher when I was in primary 5, so I just kind of copying one my friend's fav colour, she talked in front of the class just right before me. She is christella! HAHAHA

5. I had ever got red scores for my math tests in primary 3 HAHAHAHA can't stop laughing thinking back how stupid I was and how clever I am B) I shd stop this narcissism or else, others will start talking abt my smugness, just joking anyway xD

6. Practicing piano in my early ages was a disaster to me, I had it avoided most of the time. Never thought the contradictory is now here.

7. My first crush was in my primary 1, and we admitted to each other 7 years after.

8. I love ice-cream! to-the-core

9. I can't be fat though I eat like a monster! A gift?

10. Could one hate and love someone at a time? I can. That sb is very lucky, isn't it? Yes, you are, Mr. Pirates.

I would like to tag :

1. Pretty Ros

2. Jessica ong

3. Vinny Angela

4. Yunita Lim

5. Angie Wong

6. Catharina Husada

7. Desilia Nilam

8. Stephanie Candra

9. Winny Teh

10. Cathy Djaya

I've my own limit too!

What is the point of putting a little bit of hope into an impossible? Well, 2 sides ppl, 2 sides! Just like the coin philosophy. On one side, if you put a high expectation on sth, in hope that it will really happen as what you wish, you are very pleased when it reaches your expectation. On the other side, you put a low expectation on sth bcs you are scared, scared you'll be down in the dumps when it doesn't reach the expected one (higher expectation in this case). You'll never know.

Got ppl saying that we are giving up before the real war. Some others are saying that we may not put any lil bits of hope to that bcs we might end up getting feeling blue. And some others and some others and some others . . . . Those may throw us deeper into our dilemma holes. Those suggestions are also very helpful, really! Thankyous aren't enough for those who r being there every time I'm in that so called dilemma state ;)

But most importantly is to follow your own heart, what does it conduct you to. Remember, you decide it and you should know what's best for yourself. And lastly, don't forget to pray :)

Alright, I'm jotting those nonsense above bcs frankly, I am in 'that' condition now. Powerless. Aimless. I was like : "Is this what I get in return?" all the time. Everything seems so worthless after all. The effort, oh my. Keep saying that Imma making the same mistake over and over again. Keep asking : why me? why me? Then, come into my realization that God still loves me, that's why, as there must be a better plan awaiting :)

nerves problem.

It's JUNE! Time really flies, May to be exact, I barely stay on May I guess HAHAHA anyways, life without schooling bores me to the max max max. But luckily I found this job in mid May and I love it! :)

Someone has been successfully plucking on my nerves. WHY don't you just tell me the whole thing and everything will be clear just in a snap! Alright, maybe it't just not the time, BUT HELLO! curiosity kills the cat, you forget eh? SHOOT!